On facebook I said I was having a litter of kittens and several of my friends took me seriously...even offered to adopt some. As I commented, I think Stanley would be hard pressed to deliver.
I feel very nervous. I ought to go and exercise, but somehow it seems easier to just sit in front of the TV and watch a movie. Just like I did last night. The prospect of going to court tomorrow just makes me want to hole up. But maybe afterward I'll go for a nice long bike ride. I have the day off. It's probably a good idea to find a way to spend some energy. Energy that just seems bottled up right now. And as much as I'd like to release a little of it on the eliptical machine I just can't.
Tomorrow I'm going to be alone for real...I suppose it's not big change. But having it be official feels different.
It's gray and wet outside. The streets are shiny and the leaves on the maples are sobbing.
I can see why these extra scenes in Save the Last Dance were cut. They really weren't necessary.
I see other couples' problems differently now. I see other people working things out and I feel bad that I didn't try to work out my own. That I just ran away. Lots of guilt. Seems to be my theme these days. Guilt. And loneliness.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Only a few days left
Watching Ironman. This is my favorite part: before he gets really good at using his suit; when he's still in the lab testing its various functions...flipping backward into the wall...trying to keep very-polite robot assistant from spraying him with fire retardant. The first flight...the best part is really the look on his face as he experiences flight for the first time.
Michael and I played Frisbee Golf together today. It would take me quite a lot of practice to attain proficiency. Right now my aim is quite poor and I don't tend to get much distance on my throws. The important thing, though, was that we talked, and I think I found out that he is not upset with me. I've spent more than nine months being afraid of him and all my other friends.
Next Thursday is my court date. Pete and I show up at court at 9:30 am and go before a judge. And assuming everything goes smoothly and we can complete the last bit of paperwork without a hitch, that will be it. We will be divorced. Of course there will still be house refinancing stuff to attend to. The bank takes a while to respond to online refi requests. We should have started it sooner...I didn't have a clear idea what was involved. It's not easy to find the information you need online...there's lots out there, but nothing that really helps you if you start out without knowing the right questions to ask. I didn't know that we should simply ask the bank about refinancing. I thought there might be more involved...that we might need an attorney to handle the whole thing. Apparently we don't...or at least not until we get to the quitclaim, and even with that we might be able to do it alone. I wonder if the legal system deliberately makes the process a little obtuse. I was surprised that the real estate lawyer I talked to had no real idea how to handle the transfer of a house in a divorce. I would think this sort of situation would come up often.
The guy they have playing Tony Stark is really the person who makes the movie. The movie has the potential to be much less than it is...more superficial, without him. Truthfully, there are a lot of things about this movie that bother me. The cop-out reliance on generic Arab-terrorist bad guys. They should either be more specific about their bad guys so it doesn't seem quite so much like a stereotype, or they should have simply picked a "new" terrorist group that doesn't have any (or many) current analogues...maybe South American bad guys or Australian bad guys. I sort of thought it would be entertaining to pick a really unlikely group, like Icelandic terrorists...you know, all upset about their failing currency. *grin*
Oh and here he goes, all flashy red and gold and saving villagers. And apparently he has now figured out how to fly. I always wonder how superheroes with suits could possibly have predicted the gadgets they would need...and have built them into the suit. How do they all fit? Surely little shoulder-mounted mini cannons take up space!
Michael and I played Frisbee Golf together today. It would take me quite a lot of practice to attain proficiency. Right now my aim is quite poor and I don't tend to get much distance on my throws. The important thing, though, was that we talked, and I think I found out that he is not upset with me. I've spent more than nine months being afraid of him and all my other friends.
Next Thursday is my court date. Pete and I show up at court at 9:30 am and go before a judge. And assuming everything goes smoothly and we can complete the last bit of paperwork without a hitch, that will be it. We will be divorced. Of course there will still be house refinancing stuff to attend to. The bank takes a while to respond to online refi requests. We should have started it sooner...I didn't have a clear idea what was involved. It's not easy to find the information you need online...there's lots out there, but nothing that really helps you if you start out without knowing the right questions to ask. I didn't know that we should simply ask the bank about refinancing. I thought there might be more involved...that we might need an attorney to handle the whole thing. Apparently we don't...or at least not until we get to the quitclaim, and even with that we might be able to do it alone. I wonder if the legal system deliberately makes the process a little obtuse. I was surprised that the real estate lawyer I talked to had no real idea how to handle the transfer of a house in a divorce. I would think this sort of situation would come up often.
The guy they have playing Tony Stark is really the person who makes the movie. The movie has the potential to be much less than it is...more superficial, without him. Truthfully, there are a lot of things about this movie that bother me. The cop-out reliance on generic Arab-terrorist bad guys. They should either be more specific about their bad guys so it doesn't seem quite so much like a stereotype, or they should have simply picked a "new" terrorist group that doesn't have any (or many) current analogues...maybe South American bad guys or Australian bad guys. I sort of thought it would be entertaining to pick a really unlikely group, like Icelandic terrorists...you know, all upset about their failing currency. *grin*
Oh and here he goes, all flashy red and gold and saving villagers. And apparently he has now figured out how to fly. I always wonder how superheroes with suits could possibly have predicted the gadgets they would need...and have built them into the suit. How do they all fit? Surely little shoulder-mounted mini cannons take up space!
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