Lending a Helping Hand

I fiercely admire my friend Michael. He may not be able to work, but he gives so much of himself anyway. It can't be easy.

There has been a tremendous amount of rainfall here this week...and a lot of communities are treading water, especially small towns in low lying areas. The Red Cross calls Michael, and he is there. He's able, capable, smart, and, above all, willing. He wants to be there. If he could give all of himself he would , and he would be sad that it wasn't enough.

I think with guilt of my own lack of contribution to causes like his. I can't think of a time in my recent memory that I've extended a helping hand to someone who really needed it. What's the most charitable thing I've done for someone recently? Well, Pete and I gave our moving boxes to some friends...but that took no effort...and we were happy to see the boxes go. When one of my co-workers was having a blood sugar crash, I rushed to get her some hard candy. But that's not a big important cause. I don't stand for much these days, and I wish that I did. But I don't think much of myself and I don't see much potential for anything I do to have the slightest impact.

And I look at what Michael does. And I know he despairs because he thinks the same of himself. Nothing is enough. Nothing is good enough. The world swirls by and I sit in the carriage and watch it through the closed window...without the gumption to get out and walk in the mud.

Nudging Each Other Toward Anorexia

I recently joined an online group called The Daily Plate in the unceasing effort to try to control the greedy little critter inside who demands brownies. It's really a well-designed site, with a very well put-together calorie and exercise tracking tool. I find it much more fun and easy to use than a little notebook. Every time I've tried carrying a food journal around I have only succeeded in using it for a couple of days...at the most. This online tool is great since I can access it from anywhere.

One thing that troubles me, though, is the online forums that are part of the site. I joined one of the groups to see what the conversations were like. There are all girls who are trying hard to lose weight, and many of them are doing it by eating 1,000 calories a day or less. Every day. Now, I've done that a time or two, but after a few days my body just can't do it anymore. I find myself yearning after sustenance. So it's hard to feel that I can gain much from reading those posts. I feel a little heart sick reading them. Not very encouraging.

These online communities can be dangerous. I've heard about similar online groups for anorexics, where they trade tips on how to throw up (well that's more for bulemics) or how to will power your way through an entire day with nothing but diet soda. I feel like it could be easy to get sucked in. So I'm wary of the online forums on this site. I know I'm vulnerable.

Finding a balance is really hard. I don't think I'm there yet. Oh screw that, I KNOW I'm not there yet. Not when I still have to think about eating so much in order to do it right...or to do it wrong. A lot of the time, I think that one of the biggest dieting problems there is is thinking about food. If one can just stop thinking about food, stop worrying it in the back of your mind like a canker sore, then I think it would be a lot easier to be a healthy eater.

People who are obese...behaviorally...I think they must think about food every second of the day. It's not that they don't think about what they're eating. It's that they can't stop thinking about it.